Another Crazy Woman

The Myth

It always starts the same way.

The stories.

“She was crazy.”

“She was never satisfied.”

“She made my life hell.”

“She was obsessed with me.”

And we listen.

We absorb.

We tell ourselves,

That won’t be me. I’m different. I’m special.

But this is the first trap: believing that you will somehow be spared because you think you’re more extraordinary than the woman he just condemned.

The truth? You are not more special.

She is not less. We are equals.

All women hoping to be respected, protected, and cared for.

The Filter of His Story

When you only know her through his version, every choice she makes will seem irrational. Every boundary will look like drama. Every silence will feel like an admission of guilt.

But remember: his story is not the truth.

It is a truth.

A filtered lens designed to keep him looking good and her looking “crazy.”

Real love refuses to blindly accept these one-sided stories.

Real love pauses and asks: What part did you play? What accountability are you taking?

Because if a man cannot own his part in the wreckage, he will rewrite every chapter to cast himself as the victim and every woman before you as unhinged.

And one day, you may become the next character in his saga.

How to See Clearly

So how do you protect yourself from the “crazy woman” trap?

1. Refuse to pedestal yourself above another woman. If he speaks of her with contempt, know he is capable of speaking of you the same way. John Gottman’s decades of research on marriage show that contempt is the single greatest predictor of divorce, with a staggering 93% accuracy rate. It is the most toxic of what he calls the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” in relationships. If you hear contempt in his words about past partners, don’t excuse it—it’s a warning sign for how he may one day speak about you.

   
   

2. Listen for his accountability. Does he ever say, Here’s how I failed, here’s what I learned, here’s what I would do differently? Or does every story make him the hero? Does every story end with what the women did wrong? Is he constantly seeking confirmation bias from you about her? Even worse, does he lead the comparison conversation of you versus her?

   
   

3. Notice how he talks about the mothers of his children. That one matters more than anything. If he degrades her, he is not just insulting her; he is insulting his own children. The biggest red flag being that he speaks poorly about her in front of the children.

   
   

4. Hold him accountable for his words. Ask him directly: Do you realize how harshly you speak about women? Do you want to carry that perspective into your future? If your love is real, then you will hold your man to a standard. You wont just join his band wagon with only half the story. Because love of a divine feminine challenges a man tp lead into a better future, not to repeat patterns of destruction to leave behind.

   
   

Beyond the Story: Ego, Archetypes, and Women Supporting Women

Men are not bad because they choose a story that keeps their ego safe. In fact, it’s the most human response to a breakup; self-protection. But here’s the problem: protecting your ego doesn’t give you permission to sit comfortably while you actively destroy another woman’s reputation publicly.

Carolyn Myss’ research on archetypes reminds us we are all born with four: the child, the victim, the saboteur, and the prostitute. When a man tells a story that paints him as the hero who “survived” a crazy woman, he isn’t standing in victory. He’s leaning on the victim archetype.

A victor comes out of a terrible relationship not with blame, but with understanding. He reflects on how he co-created dysfunction and what he has learned. That is the mark of growth, maturity, and integrity.

As women who say we “support women,” we have to mean it. Not just for women who look like us, act like us, or respond to pain in ways we understand. Every woman is unique, yet at the human level, every woman is equal.

There seems to be a growing separation between first-wave feminism and the sexual revolution that followed. This divide is shaping two perspectives among women:

On one side are those who want to focus on raising the next generation of children to respect one another; children who do not need external validation of their sexuality or physical appearance to feel confident, and who understand the detrimental effects that constant comparison on social media platforms is having on our youth.

On the other side are women who feel controlled, judged, and slut-shamed for expressing their sexuality publicly, seeking external validation, and claiming the freedom to act however they like, despite the potential negative consequences such actions may hold for generations to come.

This divide is the yin and yang of what it means to be feminine in 2025. One is not superior to the other. Each, when pushed to the extreme, carries a shadow side. Balance is found only through respect and compassion for one another on a soul level. Each woman’s soul carries its own unique purpose to live out in this world.

We should not be shaming one another for holding different perspectives of what it means to be feminine, but embracing the full spectrum of that experience.

The same is true for our expression after we endure trauma.

One woman’s trauma response may be to hide behind smiles for years, posting curated images of a “perfect” relationship to survive the pain.

Another may lash out online, verbally attacking to release what she cannot contain inside.

Another may remain silent, never standing up for herself in public.

And another may beg the man who broke her to stay, terrified of the emptiness and the fear of being alone.

Not all trauma responses will make sense to us. They don’t have to. Because they are not meant for our judgment; they are stages of a woman’s soul working through survival.

To judge another woman’s survival mechanism as “crazy” is to miss the point entirely.

To pity her is no better; it keeps her beneath us.

What we must remember is this: when a man tells us his version, we only hold half the truth. And too often, it’s filtered through his victimhood. Crafted to protect his ego, not her humanity.

The Trap of Feeling “Special”

We so often want to feel special. We want to feel like we’re different. We want to believe we’re unique. But here’s the truth: we already are. Every single one of us.

Seeing a man’s negative perspective of another woman and using that as the measure of your uniqueness is wrong. It is a false sense of power.

This shows up often in the aftermath of cheating. One woman believes she was still wanted, while the other believes she was chosen. And the one who feels “chosen” tells herself, He will never cheat on me. I’m not like her. I’m less crazy. I’m more special.

But this belief is denial. Denial of his actions. Denial of what he has already shown you he is capable of.

Now... Can people change? Absolutely. But only if they are willing to do the work. Only if they are willing to ask themselves: Why did I feel the need to play two women against each other? Why couldn’t I be honest? What part of me needed deception to feel safe, wanted, or powerful?

Without that level of reflection, change is an illusion. If he simply bypasses his role by calling her crazy. While you stand beside him believing you’ve been chosen. Honey, you’re not special. You’re living in denial of his behavior, right alongside him.

The Missing Piece: Compassion

Compassion in relationships seems to be one of the great missing pieces in our society today. We are all so sure of what we deserve. So sure there are “many fish in the sea.” Through social media outlets we are encouraged to give up and move on to find better. But we forget: being human is hard. We are all going through the experience of life for the very first time, fumbling, failing, and learning.

And compassion shouldn’t stop at the edge of our current relationship. It must extend to our partner’s past partners, too. Whether we like it or not, our energies remain intertwined with our exes long after the relationship ends. Which means when you step into a new relationship, you are also intertwining with the energy of their past, and they with yours.

So having compassion for a man’s ex is not weakness. It is actually compassion for yourself.

This is especially true in relationships that are not superficial, but soul-deep. Ones where you are brushing up against shadow work, iron sharpening iron, discomfort calling growth to the surface.

Having compassion for a woman who found conflict with your partner but could not overcome it in a healthy way does not diminish you. It shows you understand what he revealed about himself: when he calls her “crazy,” he is showing that he wasn’t prepared to meet his own shadow in her with emotional maturity.

Growth happens in discomfort. She made him uncomfortable, and instead of choosing growth beside her, he chose the comfort of ego and to go into defense mode. ( another one of Gottman's four horsemen)

Respect Without Competition

How do we hold respect for the women who came before us, or the women who will come after us, without needing to compete for superiority?

By recognizing that each of us has a role in each other’s lives. Some roles are small and fleeting. Some roles are big and heavy, even trauma-filled. But every single interaction we face weaves into a greater tapestry.

When we avoid responsibility or accountability, we don’t stop the weaving. We just thread more pain into the future. Because healing isn’t linear, it’s cyclical. Lessons come back again and again until we learn to walk through them and react differently, until we uncover the soul lessons hidden in the interactions we’ve been given.

To respect another woman’s place in the story, even if her chapter with him was painful, is to respect the tapestry of life itself. It is to trust that our lives are interconnected, that her role and ours are not about superiority, but about growth.

My Own Reckoning

In 2020, I lived the nightmare of being silenced. I carried the aftermath of a devastating sexual trauma in my body, in my breath, in my bones, and still, I was reduced to a caricature. I was labeled “crazy.” That word was broadcasted within a jiu-jitsu community in which I barely knew anyone, used as a cloak to cover his accountability and as a weapon to strip me of credibility.

But here’s what trauma taught me: even in silence, the body never lies. Healing demands truth, and truth demands voice.

And now I refuse to participate in a culture that lets men spin one-sided stories while women carry both the wounds and the shame.

The Manifesting Generator’s Purpose

As a Manifesting Generator, my design is to blaze trails; to respond to what life throws me and turn it into something that changes the landscape. My path has been messy, full of trial and error, but that’s how new worlds get built.

My purpose is not to accept the old scripts. My purpose is to call them out, to break them apart, to show that the “crazy woman” myth was always a cover for a lack of accountability.

I survived silence, and I survived being painted as unhinged. That survival has become my power. I am here to lead women into a new frontier, starting with myself. A world where standards of respect, honesty, and integrity are sacred, and where every woman is seen as human, not as a distorted reflection of a man’s broken narrative.

The New Standard

The next generation of women deserves men who do not weaponize stories against us.

They deserve men of honor who can admit their failures and own them just as publicly as they had tried to destroy a woman reputation.

Men willing to sit in their own uncomfortable truths with a partner who fosters real growth. Not just spin stories that make them both feel superior to another woman’s trauma response.

And that change starts with us. Women who will no longer accept the myth.

We are not crazy.

We are not disposable.

We are not plot twists in a man’s redemption story.

We are human. Equal. Worthy of love that sees us clearly.

A Final Note from the Sky

Under a Full Moon total eclipse in Pisces on September 7, the collective is being pushed to dissolve illusion and upgrade our compassion; without abandoning accountability. This eclipse season (with a follow-up solar eclipse on September 21) exposes the stories we hide behind, especially in love: the labels we slap on exes, the myths we use to feel “special,” the ways we mistake pity for support. With Saturn back in Pisces, empathy must come with boundaries. We’re asked to retire scapegoat narratives and choose sober truth. Facts (Virgo) in service of healing (Pisces).

Key Takeaways

• A man who only tells stories of “crazy exes” is protecting his ego, not showing accountability.

• True women’s empowerment means supporting all women; even those whose trauma responses look different than ours, and not feeling judged just because she doesn’t share your point of view of how a woman should think or behave.

• Feeling “special” at the expense of another woman is denial, not love. His actions tell you more than his stories.

• Compassion extends beyond your relationship. When you honor his past partners, you honor yourself.

• Healing is cyclical. Every relationship, even painful ones, weaves into the larger tapestry of your growth.

  
  

Eclipse Healing Practice

On September 7, under the Pisces Full Moon eclipse, try this reflection and release practice:

1. Journal the Stories

   • Write down the labels or narratives you’ve heard men use about their exes (e.g., “crazy,” “obsessed,” “never satisfied”).

   • Then write one compassionate reframe for each (e.g., “She was hurting,” “She was fighting to be heard,” “She was responding to betrayal”).

2. Face Your Own Temptation

   • Ask yourself: Where have I believed I was “special” at another woman’s expense?

   • What does that belief cost me in truth and integrity?

3. Release Ritual

   • Tear or burn the pages of labels.

   • Speak aloud: “I release the scapegoat stories. I choose truth, compassion, and accountability instead.”

4. Set a Standard

   • Close your practice by writing one non-negotiable standard you will carry into every relationship (e.g., honesty, integrity, accountability).

     
     

Let this eclipse mark a turning point; not just in the sky, but in the stories you allow to shape your life.